-jokes time-
LEON wanted to have $ex with a girl in his office, but she belonged to someone else...
One day, LEON got so frustrated that he went up to her and said, "I'll give you a R100 if you let me
shag you. But the girl said NO.
LEON said, "I'll be fast. I'll throw the money on the floor, you bend down, and I'll be finished by the time you pick it up. "
She thought for a moment and said that she would have... to consult her boyfriend... So she called her boyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend says, "Ask him for R200, pick up the money very fast, he won't even be able to get his pants down."
So she agrees and accepts the proposal. Half an hour goes by, and the boyfriend is waiting for his girlfriend to call.
Finally, after 45 minutes, the boyfriend calls and asks what happened.
She responded, "The b*a*s*t*a*r*d used coins!

A lady went to the store to buy a parrot
and asks the sales person,
"What's so special about the parrot ?"
Sales person:
This parrot can talk So the lady asks the parrot,
... "how do I look?"
The parrot replies, "you look like a damn Slut?"
The lady gets pissed off and tells the
sales person that it's a very rude parrot
and she cannot buy it.
The sales person tells her to please wait
for 2 mins.
The sales person takes the parrot to the
back of the store and shoves the parrot
into a bucket of water and when he
pulls the parrot out he says,
"if you disrespect the lady out there, I'll
soak you in water again"
and takes the
parrot back outside.
The sales person asked thelady to ask
the parrot another question.
Lady:
"If I come home with1 man what
would you think?"
Parrot: "He's your husband"
Lady: "2 men"
Parrot: "Your husband and his brother"
Lady: "3 men"
Parrot: "Your husband, his brother &
your brother"
Lady: "4 men"
Parrot: "Bring the bucket of
water, I already told you she's a slut!"

A man & a pretty woman who had never met before found themselves sharing a sleeping compartment on a train.

The man on the top bunk & the lady on the bottom bunk.

During the night, man woke & asked "Sorry to bother you but would you reach into the closet to get me a 2nd blanket, i'm freezing!"
...
"I've a better idea" she replied, "Why don't we pretend we are married?"

"Wow what a great idea!" he said.

"Good" she said,

"Get your own blanket yourself, you lazy bastard!"

A man is sitting next to a woman who's trying to breast-feed her baby in a bus. The baby refuses to suck the breast & the mother warns, "If you don't suck, i shall give it to the man next to me ok". The baby still refuses. After about 20 mins, the woman repeats the 'threat'. The man clears his throat & says,
"Look, madam, you better make up your mind . I was suppose to get off six bus-stops ago.. xD